2013: nonprofound thoughts

January 1, 2013

This year I don't feel the need to write a lengthly blog post
to bring in the new year.
I'm not big on resolutions.
Never have been.
I'm usually the one avoiding the gym at the first of the year.
Waiting for the crowd to dissipate and things to go back to normal.
I think a fresh start can be such a great thing.
I'm all about Monday mornings. ;)
But I don't really need a fresh start this year.
Its been a good year.
Lots of milestones.
Jia Rose joined our family.
I turned 30.
Jaymin started school.
We bought a house.
Big stuff.
I have felt like a failure an awful lot this year though.
In motherhood. Marriage. Friendships. My relationship with Christ.
Never good enough. Always screwing up.
I've tried really hard to adopt the "new day" attitude.
And I've gotten much better at apologizing.
Especially to my children.
I want to be better.
I want to be more Christ-like.
I want to die-to-self more this year.
You know how every time doctors or scientists make a new discovery
they realize how much they don't know?
It feels like the same thing.
The more He reveals to me areas that need change and work,
the more I realize how imperfect, broken, and sinful I am.
I've got a lot of work to do. And as overwhelming as it is, I can't quit.
Thank goodness His mercies are new each morning.
Not just each new year.

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