cowboy or cowgirl?

September 29, 2011

People always want to know.
"Are you going to find out what you're having??"

With Jaymin, I HAD to know.
We were poor.
We had nothing.
I'm a control freak & needed to prepare to the best of my ability.
{Which, we still had practically nothing
when he came forth from my womb.}
With Jett, I KNEW he was a girl.
And therefore needed to buy all things girly.
But, in verifying that he did in fact have ovaries,
we instead saw a wenis.
Jemma was going to be my surprise.
I decided to throw caution into the wind,
and said "I don't care! Even if it is a girl, we'll be fine!"
She was my third. It doesn't really matter at that point, right?
And, I ALWAYS wanted to have a least ONE surprise. :)
Then came her sono. And the bad news.
That leads us to this babe.
I wanted everything to be different.
My husband calmly informed me I wasn't going to "jinx" this pregnancy.
I know.
But that combined with all the {dumb} issues I've had this time around,
and the many, many sonograms,
there was no way I wasn't going to find out at some point.
I mean, my husband and I can both read sonograms like an anatomy book.
We can identify wenis' amongst black & white blizzards with ease.
So, the time came.
We had our sono.
We found out.

The weeks leading up to it,
it seemed like everyone I came in contact with either said how much they
hoped I had a girl or that they were certain it was in fact a girl.
I mean, I get that.
I'm a pretty feminine girl.
I have 2 boys.
Lots of brothers.
I could see why they would want me to experience a daughter.
But, I wasn't so sure.
Another boy would be easier.
I know boys.
I understand boys.
I can do boys.
And I just loooooove my boys.
When I thought about having a girl, I just felt so much pressure.
So much responsibility. So many ways to screw up.
I try to understand the pressures that our men face every day.
The burden of providing for their families.
Leading their homes with strength & wisdom.
The many stumbling blocks they have to fight against.
But I'm a woman.
And instantly, when I think of having a girl,
I'm overwhelmed with childhood memories, insecurities,
a MAJOR case of "ugly duckling",
awkward middle school & high school years.
Not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, athletic enough.
My parents did a great job raising me.
And I can humbly say that through their parenting,
& my faith in something far greater than myself,
today I am a confidant woman
who doesn't constantly struggle with insecurity,
and I'm happy with who God has made me.
But, it was a very very rocky road to get to this place.
And I don't want to watch a daughter of mine
go through those same things.
Couldn't she just be born perfect Lord?
No.
Cause then we would have to battle vanity, pride, & arrogance.
See how it swings both ways??
I hate what the world has done to women.
I hate that society is so focused on perfection of body,
and not heart & soul.
I hate the pressures we face.
And that is why I felt such tremendous pressure in possibly raising a girl.
But, I take heart in knowing I am not in this alone.
Not only do I have a wonderful husband at my side
(who's contribution to raising a healthy woman is just as important,
if not more so than a mother's),
but I also have a God who knows all,
and ultimately, has quite a bit more influence over my {HIS} children
than I ever will.
And THAT gives me peace.

So, to be perfectly honest...
I didn't care if we were blessed with another boy,
or had the joy of experiencing a daughter for the first time.
I'm just thrilled that God gave me another chance to bear life,
and that he trusts me enough to take care of his beloveds for a short time.

Now that I've cleansed my soul with that novel...
Does this room remain a rough & tumble cowboy room...
{which my mother JUST found a perfect cowhide rug for...}
OR...
does it get painted pink?

...................................

I've done a little online shopping to help you figure it out...



{all items found on etsy}

Is anybody else {other than my husband}
scared that I just put together 3 fashion boards for my unborn daughter??

This is bad...very very bad... ;)

9 comments:

Chelsea said...

WOOHOO! A baby girl. :) Congrats, Chels! So excited for you, Jeff and the boys!

audrey said...

she's going to be the most stylish chicken in the world! Congrats!!! we just had baby june on tuesday and i can't get over the diaper changes...bam!

katieharris said...

OOOH fun! You'll raise a wonderful daughter. I don't have any experience raising boys, but i think having a girl is just the best thing ever :) I get the feeling your boys will love having a young sister, she'll be so protected growing up.

KayJackson said...

Congratulations! How exciting! So, so sweet is our Lord!

Jami Nato said...

can. not.wait.

Katie said...

A grey and yellow nursery for a little girl would be GORGEOUS!!!!

Alaythea said...

Congrats on the baby girl! I'm thinking Jinx would be a super cute name for her especially since you seem to have a J theme going on!

Christine said...

Chelsea, those fashion boards are RIDICULOUSLY adorable!!

Tina said...

just ran across your blog, and I am LOVING the fashion boards! So cute :) and you have an inspiring testimony. May God bless you and this pregnancy!
Tina @ mommasloveandlaughter.blogspot.com

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