Dear "John"

March 29, 2011

Prepare your hearts for a heavy
and non-crafty blog week from me.
Just bare with me
and we'll get back to normal next week.

And I apologize for my absence...
more on that in a few days.
But first, I must address another issue.

Recently, I have had a reader visiting my blog
and leaving some pretty passionate comments.

This reader seems to be very concerned
about the choices I've made and the life I live.
So I thought I'd clear up some of the confusion.
But first, this is what they had to say about me and my blog:

"You do know you are not a preacher, why don't you get a job and support your family and stop spending all day telling others how great you are. You are not that great from what I see on here."

"Why don't you blog about the fact that you have nothing better to do and that you seem to think you are a Godly person by basically showing off how great you think you are. I personally, with the majority of society, hate people like you that think you are better than everyone else and feel that its acceptable to blather on about it thru a blog, you seem to be worthless not to mention getting pregnant and acting like you weren't for 14 weeks, are you freaking drunk or just that stupid? My God...disgusting. Let's see if you approve this comment."

"When do you take care of your children? You seem to spend more time updating your stupid blog than spending time with your children. Just cause your stupid church friends buy this crap (which I'm sure falls apart in 2 days) doesn't mean it's quality. Why don't you do the whole world a favor and drop this blog and get a real job, help your family get out of that crap hole you call a home. Also, you didn't know you were pregnant till you were through the first trimester? Really? Are you that ignorant or just that dumb? I think your just that stupid, get a freaking life you dumbass."

"Why is it that every time someone posts something that isn't a "glowing" report on how great your crap is you delete it? This is a country founded on the right to free speech, you put this blog out there for all to read and see how "great" you "think" you are but in all actuality I just see a lonely woman who has nothing better to do but ignore her children and preach to others on how they are less than you. Pathetic, leave my posts up and allow others to comment, unless you fear what others really think of you and your crap."

Looks cheap... And you come across as a racist. Stupid, this whole site is stupid, you just come across like you are so wonderful but really it's all your old church friends, why don't you have friends your own age?"

Here are a few of the areas this reader seems confused about...

My Blog:
There seems to be a lot of concern about how much time I spend blogging. Which is interesting coming from "John" as they obviously spend a lot time reading my blog and writing plenty of comments. I blog twice a week. It takes about 20 minutes if I have a full 20 minutes. If not, I start the post and work on it throughout the day. I like sharing stories, photos, and events of our lives. And I LOVE that my grandma reads it and feels like she is "up to date" with me and my family, especially since she cannot travel as much anymore and has a hard time coming to visit. It's also a great place for me to advertise my etsy shop that helps bring in income for my family. This reader also mentioned "free speech". Yep, this is MY blog and I decide what I write, what I post, and what comments I delete. If anyone else wants that same kind of freedom I suggest starting a blog. :) Oh, and if you don't like my blog, it's a free country, don't read it. :)

My Home:
The townhouse we live in is not super nice. It's old and ghetto. I've been very open about that. But I've learned the secret of contentment no matter my circumstances (Phil 4:12). I feel so blessed to have this home with an extremely affordable rent, plenty of space, and the ability to make it my own. I'm just proud to say that we are living below our means rather than right at or above. We will soon be debt free and will always be thankful for this place that helped us get on our feet.

My Job:
I stay home with my children because I believe it is the right thing to do. The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development has conducted studies on children who spend a large amount of time in daycare facilities. These children had more behavioral and emotional problems than those who were home with their mothers. I believe I am to be the primary caregiver of my children and that this is where God desires me to be. Our finances are structured for this lifestyle, it is not easy but it is worth it. My kids get one shot at life and I believe it is my job and my duty to help them build the right foundation - spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally and THAT is a pretty big job. And ALL moms, working outside the home or not, will agree that being a mom is the hardest job there is. My job couldn't be more "real".

My Pregnancy:
I found out I was pregnant at 7 weeks. Had a sonogram at 8 weeks. Shared on my blog at 14 weeks. The gestation period is actually 40 weeks (not 9 months - 36 weeks), but the first trimester is over at around 12 or 13 weeks. So no, I did not get through my first trimester before realizing I was pregnant.

Oh, and please, leave my "stupid church friends", kids, and unborn child alone.
You can say whatever you want about me but do NOT insult anyone I love.

You really want to know what makes me so dang special? Jesus.
I am everything with Him and nothing without Him.
He came to this dark world of ours
to love and dwell with cruel and selfish people,
to walk among us, and then, to die for us.
Why? We are SO not worth it.
But He did it anyway.

"John" I hope you seek Him and find Him.
Really I do.
He changes everything.
I promise.

"John" you obviously wanted to be heard and acknowledged.
Well, I have heard you and acknowledged you.
But don't expect it to happen again.
Life is too short to waste on bitterness & resentment.
Someone once said,
"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
It will eat you up from the inside out.
I've got too much life to live to die a slow and painful death such as that.

Good day.


emily said...

hooorah for old and ghetto townhomes!

Felicia Yoakam said...

Amen, Chels!! Amen!!

Audrey said...

What the heck? I am so sorry that somebody is leaving such crappy comments. :(

Jami Nato said...

it's hard to believe that someone would write such mean things about others. it's a shame that this person couldn't find a more constructive way to diffuse their own anger. in fact, i'm a little embarrassed for "john". if you are too cowardly to put your name on things you so strongly believe in, maybe those things aren't worth saying.

Melissa Rodgers said...

What can I saw sweetie, I love you, your life, what you stand for, my grandchildren, my son-in- law (Hi Jeff :)and yes, I love your blog. Your messages always brighten my day and lift me up when I need it most. You ROCK! Love always, Mom

amy said...

wow... i don't think i've ever been so mad reading a blog, but that is probably want "john" wants. "john" obviously does not know what blogging is about and has WAY too much time on his/her hands. i love reading your blog because i love watching your kids grow and seeing what crafts you made even though i am not one of "your church friends".

keep blogging chelsea because i like reading. wow...i'm mad!

Diane said...

Chelsea, you don't know me and I've never commented on your blog before. I've looked at your darling outfits and marveled at your creativity many times since the first time I visited.

I'm so very sorry you had to encounter this person and such a vicious attack. How courageous for you to share those accusations, and your response...which was full of grace.

Your godly character is apparent through your posts, through the choices you are making as a mother, and through your gracious response. The character of your guest is also very apparent through what was written. I'm sorry you had to encounter that, yet sometimes we are refined through opposition.

I am already praying for you, praying for your heart, and your family. And I'm praying for your who choses to tear you down. May God's spirit lift you, encourage you, strengthen and uphold you. May you be blessed, may your church friends surround you.

Thank you for sharing your creativity with us, thank you for your transparency, and thank you for your courage.

Just wanted you to know that someone you don't even know is praying for you.

Chelsea said...

Goodness, it's hard to believe anyone would have such venom to spew at someone so beautiful, inside and out, as you. What a mature and graceful way to handle it. You should feel nothing but pride for all that you do - staying home with your children, providing for them through your etsy shop, sharing God's word through your blog, living in a modest home to get yourself debt-free. These are all things that are incredibly admirable, and that anyone could even TRY to find fault in any of that is laughable. Rock on, sista.

Corey's Girl said...

Ok, this is obviously someone who knows you-yet doesn't know you at all. Jami read my mind-what a coward to write 'anonymously' such negative, strong opinions. A person could really lash back and get nasty about something like this yet you maintain your integrity and faith-I'm proud of you. I'm mostly sad about the timing of this with all that you have going on in your life. You didn't need this right now but as usual, you are staying strong and letting God be in control. Keep it up-you are an inspiration.

Corey's Girl said...

Corey's Girl-That's MARIETTA FULK by the way-not afraid to post my name:-)

Craftaholic said...

Oh Chelsea I am so sorry, I've got a big lump in my throat reading this. Wish whoever "John" is would take that kind of passion and use it toward doing something positive with their life. You did the right thing here and no more thought should be given to someone with that much hate in their heart. Keep your chin up girl! We all love you!

Fawn said...

When you first told me about the comments I was shocked someone would write such hateful things like this about you and they obviously do not know the real you.
I am proud to have you as a daughter and love seeing the things you post. My sweet grand babies updates and your talented work. I am sorry you would ever have to read something like this but I am thankful for your great attitude and for knowing who you are in Christ.
You keep putting on that Armor...and know you are in the right hands. I am proud of you and KNOW you are wonderful daughter and genuine person.
I love you, Mom.

KayJackson said...

I find this quite ironic, because just 2 weeks ago I shared your blog with a friend. I was sharing with her your honesty, faithfullness and joy. I enjoy your blog and I'm not one of your church friends. Actually, you only kind of know me, ha! Write on!

Allyson C. said...

ditto on what a lot of the other folks have said. i feel pity for "john". clearly john has a lot of unresolved bitterness in general in their life, and they have found a venting ground in namelessly stalking your blog and attacking you. the irony and ignorance in the things the person said are laughable. you know who you are. you know you are loved.

gayla.odell said...

Chelsea -

It is a sad day that people have nothing better to do than leave hateful comments on someone's blog. John definitely needs a life and you handled this beautifully and let your gentle spirit tell it all. Keep it up! Gayla - the other half of MeGa

Allyson C. said...

and one more quick sidenote for John herself (since she clearly reads this blog on a regular basis).... can you please tell me what kind of "real job" it is that you have that allows you to be online reading blogs so much?? i'd LOVE to apply!! thanks!

peggy b said...

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous ... Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matt. 5:43-45, 48

Well done, Chels, and well said ... I pity anyone who loathes themselves so much as to try to pull others into their pit. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Little Momma said...

try to take having hate comments as an affirmation that what you are doing is making a difference in this world and "someone" is fired up about that. all of those words sound like comments that would come straight from the accuser's mouth. he has said many of those same things to me...only in my try to shut me up. sadly, it worked for a while. crafty, i tell you, crafty. however, what he says to you does not deserve a response. his own mouth reveals his {broken} heart. i remember once being offended by outspoken Christians, it wasn't those who argued with me that won me over. it was one who listened to my opinions and then gently redirected the conversation all the while living out her faith with conviction.
keep on bloggin' girl rejoice that you are making a difference.

heidi.maggio said...

Your character in Christ shines through your response.

2 Thessalonians 1:4-6
"We proudly tell God’s other churches about your endurance and faithfulness in all the persecutions and hardships you are suffering. And God will use this persecution to show his justice and to make you worthy of his Kingdom, for which you are suffering. In his justice he will pay back those who persecute you."

You are God's child and are finding your worth through HIS eyes. I join in prayer with you that "John" also understands her worth and value as God's craftsmanship.

DeLand said...

Good response, Chelsea! Much more gracious than I would have been :) Keep it up. You are doing an amazing job.

Mrs. Legris said...

I appreciate you putting this up, but you don't have to justify anything about yourself to anyone. I don't know you personally, but I enjoy your blog, and you seem like a wonderful woman with an amazing heart. It's sad that this person is so insanely jealous of you that they have taken the time to basically stalk you. I had someone do something similar to me, and it is just hatred and jealousy. So sorry.

Colleen said...

Hi Chelsea.... I do not know you at all, but I love reading your blog. 2 Timothy 3 says that difficult times will come, and it goes on to describe those times. However, no matter how difficult you and I are to Live By Faith.
Thank you for showing a PERFECT example of this. You have just encouraged me more through this one post than you will ever know. I will be praying for "john" and only WISH I was one of your CHURCH FRIENDS :)

Lizz said...

i love you sweet friend. your true character shows through so strongly. i am so proud to be your girlfriend! i am proud to be your neighbor in our ghetto homes.... but, i think they look pretty cute in the inside =) and.... hey, i know 30 is old, but seriously, is it that old =) do you need to be friends with 13 yr olds? =)

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Legris took the words out of my mouth. I feel sorry for "John" that she can't do something more productive with her time than to bash a good person. ((Hugs)) to you Chelsea. I don't think I would have been as gracious in my response. ;)

Your "old church friend" Jody Hill

sarabear_79 said...

I do not know you but am a friend of your sister in law and grew up with her and Jeff. I read your story via mikaylas fb. Don't let john even have the satisfaction of making you upset. You're obviously a good mother ( I have a son too! ) and wife, and are very creative. They only wish they could have the grace of the Lord as you do!
PS - I love the flowery headbands!!!

Katie said...

My favorite part was when he said "your stupid".

Case closed.

Ashley@EisyMorgan said...

first of all, we have like the exact same life so you are doing NOTHING wrong. Second, of all who is the one with the issue here. There are about 300 blogs I could think of just that I know of that do and say the same things that you do, so why is this person picking on you? They clearly have too much time on their hands that all they want to do is harass you. Sounds like someone is a little envious of you and your life.
This person is a coward, and a hater. If you weren't doing something amazing here, they would have no reason to hate.
Haters gonna hate. I feel sorry that this is what their life is about and I guess attention is attention for them, even if its negative.
I don't know you but I am now a new follower and supporter. If nothing else this has only brought more people to love your blog! Yeah!!
Remember the quote, "If someone is trying to bring you down, you are clearly already above them"

Heather B {dreaming big} said...

"John" I don't think I like you very much. That's all.

Hailey Marie said...

* John 15:18 *
"if the world hates you, remember that it hated me first".

PLEASE keep creating, keep writing, keep loving your family, and serving the Lord. <3

katy {of} katy loves. said...

Wow. "John's" comments are..well, they don't deserve anymore commenting. I really respect and appreciate your approach to responding to those hurtful comments. Ignoring them won't make the problem go away all the time, sometimes it fuels the fire. Standing up for yourself and posting those hurtful things, that took courage. You've found a new reader in me, that's for sure.

This verse just came into mind, so I had to share: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

The Arizona Russums said...

preach it, sister! what ridiculous comments. i LOVE that you stay home to nurture your children! xoxo!

Sheri said...

I do NOT get why people are so hurtful, like you said, don't read it if you don't like it. You are such a big person for posting this and addressing those ridiculous comments that don't deserve the time of day. Good for you, girl!!

Leslie said...

Wow, just came across your blog and read this entire post. I don't know you but I have a great respect for women who blog and share things about motherhood and crafting. I feel like it helps to bring women closer together and also creates a place for moms to make friends. Don't listen to the haters. There are people who spend their days writing horrible things on the internet because no one can catch them. It sounds like "john" is actually not happy with the life they are leading and decided to tear down people who are happy and lead a productive lifestyle. Congrats on being pregnant!!! I am now going to check out your blog and follow you (wow that kind of sounded creepy) =)

Melbarudy said...

Wow. I just found your blog today and I really like it. I just stopped at this post because I wanted to show my support. I applaud you for addressing this bully. I have thought about starting a blog because I use to have one and I think part of the fun is reading old posts for the memories. I'm a mother as well, although I do work, I respect your decision to stay home. Parenting is not one size fits all and as mothers, we have to do what we feel is right for our children. I hope that "John" finds peace within himself because it is obvious he is full of a lot of pain.

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